God bless you have somehow skimmed across my blog.
You may be one of my best friends.
We may be aqcuainted.
I may have never met you.
But somehow, here you are, reading this blog.
I created this blog originally with the intent of having a more frequent way to update my supporters. But as time went on and it began getting hits and followers, i realized there was a lot more to it than just keeping those who help me posted.
This blog is here as an invitation. An invitation to read the stories. To pray if you’re the praying type. To question if you’re the questioning type. To be included in the incredible things that God is doing in and around me and the country in which i serve. To learn about people, and this culture. To be challenged. To hear about Jesus for the first time. To skim. To accept, or to reject.
This blog is here as an opportunity to share my heart, whether you agree or disagree, like or hate. it’s simply here, reaching our generation through our most used output, the internet. may God bless you, and i truly mean that.
God bless you have somehow skimmed across my blog.
I havent done just a basic update in a long time. sorry about that, folks. here’s some news on whats new in life here in Honduras.
- earlier this month, my mom & sister came to visit! that was such a blessing. i couldn’t believe they made the big trip all the way down here, but they did it and it was awesome. we went and spent their week in Copan, where i spent my first two months of my now six months in Honduras. I was able to reconnect with all my old relationships and spent time in the orphanage with the kids that i love, so so very much.
- this upcoming week we’ll be recieving our first US mission team (the last one was here in the beginning of April.) they’ll be coming, and from then until august we will be jam-packed in assissting teams on their short-term mission trips here to Yamaranguila, Honduras. big changes about to happen for those of us who are here on the day-to-day basis. and lots of new faces about to pass on through.
- also preparing for a big event this summer, called one nation one day. if you haven’t heard abuot it, check it out.
- my month “off” of small group has now passed (my honduran co-leader just took the wheel.) im ready and excited to get back into it. God has shown em so much in my time with just Him, and i’m so excited to back on track with my small group girls and teach them all i”ve learned.
- one of my English students, Miriam, has improved so much in her English skills that i think she’s able to be translating for us and some of our teams this summer. I have so much faith in that girl, she is SO smart!
- went on a two-day location scout with the boys to find a potential youth retreat location. we had a great time and i got to relax by the lake. it was much needed after the heart pains i’ve had lately.
- took pictures of all of this years seniors. I’ll be sticking around for their graduation this year. man, do i love those kids.
- unfortunately on our trip we got our car broken into. lots of things were stolen, including my passport, meaning ill need to be going to the embassy sometime soon to apply for a new one. & still waiting on VISA confirmation. (hint hint lots of prayers please!)
- finding peace in the Lord. & hopefully making a post about it soon.
relationship, put into simple terms, is growth.
growing to know someone better.
growing to know yourself better with them.
growing to understand how a person works;
what makes them happy, angry, sad.
growing to learn their life story;
where they’ve been & what they’ve learned from it.
growing to share in someone’s life
to show your emotion & to share your story.
growing to see where problems arise &
growing to make them never happen again.
growing to see that relationships are valuable;
they are what keep us from being alone.
growing to learn that we come in this world empty-handed
and leave with none of our possesions,
but do leave with relationships.
we may leave an inheritance but most importantly
we leave a legacy: who we were & how people saw us.
growing to think first in someone else,
in what they want and what they prefer.
growing to love your neighbor as yourself
growing to love yourself as you are as you’re
growing to allow someone to accept you for who you are.
relationship put into simple terms is growth.
relationship is complicated, messy, hard, and trying.
but relationship is growth.
without it we whither, forget, misinterperet, hide.
with it we learn, know, undestand, share, think, see, and love.
relationship is friendship, brotherhood, romance.
relationship is between a Heavenly Father
& His earthly son or daughter.
relationship is beautiful,
growing to be beautiful.
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be temptedby the devil.”
This is striking to me, that throughout the gospel I find Jesus taking time away from it all, and going to spend time in the wilderness with the Lord. Why does He do this? He was perfect and without flaw, so why did He find the need to break himself apart from everything to fill Himself up with the Jesus.
Now just as Jesus was tempted, I’ve found that Satan has been tempting me. And hard, and long. And as I am not the perfect Son of God, I have fallen to these temptations of Satan. I hate that. But I have.
“After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.The tempter came to him and said, ‘If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.’”
So this makes me think, Megan, what is your bread? In where have you been filling yourself? What is your food of the flesh?
And in these areas is where I have fallen… where I have fallen to the temptations of Satan, and he dangles offers me ‘bread.’ He says to me, “Megan, if you are a daughter of God, you shouldn’t need to fill yourself more with God, you should be serving the people more.”
“Jesus answered, ‘It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
And Jesus speaks on my behalf, “Megan shall not live on service alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”
“Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. ‘If you are the Son of God,’ he said, ‘throw yourself down. For it is written: He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
And Satan leads me as I’m vulnerable up the top of the hill where I can see the ministry, where I can see all of Yamaranguila. He takes my pride in his hand and he dangles it and he says, “Grab it. Forget the ways in which you’ve fallen to my temptations, and keep going… keep serving. No one has to know you’re not perfect just grab it and keep going. God promises to catch you if you just jump out and grab ahold of this pride. Go on…”
DANG IT satan is so good at lying.
“Jesus answered him, ‘It is also written: Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
Jesus speaks yet again, “Megan will not put your relationship with God to the test. She has failed us, she has fallen to temptations, but we will not lose her. she is ours and we love her, and she will not put her relationship with us to test.”
But Satan hasn’t given up yet, he rears his ugly head with one last attempt.
“Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. ‘All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.’”
He shows me the ministry, he shows me my flesh. Satan comes in close and whispers, “If you just listen to me, I can give you all the desires of your flesh, and everyone will think you’re an amazing missionary. I can give you both worlds.”
“Jesus said to him, ‘Away from me, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”
AWAY FROM ME SATAN!!!! I can not have both worlds, and the world of the flesh will never fill me! Your only power is to lie, and I have been lied to. So get out, because I must worship and serve God. It is the only way.
“Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.”
Jesus comes in close, holds me and tells me these words:
“It wouldn’t matter to me if you were a missionary or a college student like every other 19 year old girl. It wouldn’t matter to me if you were in a ministry or working a part-time job like every other 19 year old girl. I want YOU, because you are YOU, not because of what you do. What I need from you, is to spend a month at my feet, just as I did with my Father when I was on Earth.”
As hard as this decision is to make, I must do it. I must, in a sense, take a step back from the ministry, and let me life be a perfume at the feet of the Lord. I must spend a month in prayer, in bible study, in worship, in journaling, in reading, in communication, and most importantly making right with God the ways in which I have failed Him. Where I am, the field and direction I’ve chosen for my life, I’m placed on the front line of spiritual warfare. And with all love and respect, I must place first and foremost my own relationship with God. I cannot lead a small group if I myself am not fully right with Him. I cannot fight on the frontline of warfare if I’m not armed with the full armor of God. Jesus himself spent time away from His disciples to focus in on God. Satan’s stronghold is our pride, I must never pass an opportunity to humble myself. I need prayers more than ever. Though I am still going to be a part of the lives of all those here in the ministry and all the people I’ve built relationships with, this month’s focus will not be pouring out, but filling up.
I am empty. I need to be filled. Without it, I cannot fight.
things are not always fun & beautiful & amazing. sometimes, things are really realy hard. this day, April 15th of 2013, has been one the hardest days of my life.
today a very special friend, Daniel, had to leave the farm, for reasons i dont understand and couldn’t explain. i met him last year when i came down with the first group, and he has continued to be a very special person in my life throughout the time i’ve known him. to have to say goodbye to him, watch him walk away, have no idea what happened or why it was happening, and have no idea when i’ll see him again…. to say that the experience was hard would be a rightous understatement.
it is so hard to trust God sometimes when he throws us things we don’t like. its easy enough to trust him when everything is going great. when it gets hard to trust is when things suck. but something ive grown to understand is that everything has its time, theres a season for all things in life. all i can do is humble myself and realize that im nothing without God, and that in no other spring can i fill my life. i must wait patiently on the Lord for the answers, and for the desires of my heart. right now i need your prayers, all of you out there who are searching for something to pray for, this would be a good one. thanks.
my roommate Lexey on the zipline!!
highest zipline in Central America.
what a fun vacation we had! after a few months of hard work, Semana Santa (or easter week) arrived and we all decided to enjoy it like the Hondurans do. truly blessed, me and my roommates went to Gracias Lempira with Carlos & Rina, the town they both grew up in. We stayed in an incredibly large and beautiful house, ate great food, went ziplining, hiking, swimming in the natural hotsprings, and exploring the beautiful city. I got some good quality jesus time in & feel refreshed and ready to jump back into work. I feel so blessed by peoples hospitality and willingness to open up their home and food and amentities to us to enjoy a week of fun and relaxation!
the last week was spent up in the mountains, with an all womens team from Arkansas. the team was an incredible group: filled with young women of the Lord who are servant-hearted, kind, patient, and willing to step out. i found that in any moment of discouragment i could turn to these women and be filled. it was a blessing beyond blessing, because at times in this life i feel extremely alone.
for the first time ever i led the hike.. NO PRESSURE, just leading a group of american women through the honduran rain forest. we made it through, thanks to God, and arrived in a village called Santa Maria. with some villages we get lucky, and can find a pastor to lead the community, like Bernardo in Agua Caliente. however, other times, finding a man to rise up, defy the standard. Santa Maria has not been so lucky. some men have risen up for a short period of time, but seem to always fall to the wayside, unable to sustain the accountability and difficulty required of them to lead a village to Christ. Santa Maria is a struggling village.
Teams always come and provide material needs for people. for me, this involved translating in the farmacy station at the medical clinic & carrying TONS of 60 pound adobe bricks on my shoulders to build three houses for families. we made a few house visits to local women and had them teach the girls of the team how to make corn tortillas.
as usual i spent a lot of time with the children, never tiring of the fact that they just want to touch my hair and skin and listen to me talk. my sweetest moment of the week in the Santa Maria was sitting outside a kitchen as people made tortillas, and being instantly surrounded by about fifteen children. they called out different questions, asking me my favorite food, my mom’s name, how many sisters i have, what i like to play, if i was married. all the while telling me about their lives and what they like to do. i had to make it back to cook and they asked if they could walk me “home.” so i trekked up the hill with about fifteen children, multiple on each arm, some holding my shirt or pants from the back, giggling as we marched & stumbled up the hill together.
with the building of homes along with translating and everything else i did this week, i worked very, very hard this last week. my body is in so much pain and my mind is sort of some where else right now. but this group, this week, all that God worked together, was incredible. some things that God revealed to me & that God blessed me with are simply too personal to share on this blog. just know that as i’ve been asking for prayers, God has been answering them inside of me. he used the people i work with and the women of this team to come in & encourage me and build me up.
tomorrow ill be leaving to spend a week in Gracias Lempira with a few Honduran friends. it’ll be a time to relax and recupoerate… physically, mentally, and most imporatantly spiritually. i just find my peace and rest in knowing that God provides for me everything a i need when i need it. he provides work, he provides rest. he provides trials to strengthen me and friends to ease to load. he provides me with love, laughter, joy, endurance, and all things in his right and just timing. im grateful to God for the work he is doing in and through me.
my small group
Luz, Mayra, Aracelly, Me, Nolvia, Ana Carolina, Anabelly.
this whole discipleship thing.. i love it and i hate it all at the same time, because there is just no way to understand it. it is the principle of our faith and the call on our lives, and it is not black and white. discipleship varies, requires different things from different people, and takes many, many turns.
discipleship is something placed on our hearts here this year, hence dividing up the youth group kids into small groups. let me be frank: none of us by earthly standards would be qualified to lead a small group of hondurans, what with language barriers, culutural misunderstandings, and the fact that we have only just begun to step into this country, their world, some of us only two short months ago.
but as i’ve said a hundred times, God does not call the qualified. God qualifies the called.
a few weeks ago, God placed something on my heart. God told me that this youth group needed to be my priority this year. i told some of my leadership i wanted it to be my priority, but i decided i wasnt going to wait for their approval or them asking of me to make it my priority, or my “job” here. I was just going to do it.
we had begun to talk about planning a youth event for all the youth group kids, and when out field director asked for a leader to plan it, my hand shot up before he even finished the sentence (this is me asserting myself.) So i begun the process of planning an all-day event for sixty youth group kids. I sought advice from pinterest and google, reviewed everything with the youth group directors, Carlos and Rina, and discussed it with all the staff. we were ready to put on this event!
& yesterday it began! the students arrived, and we all ate breakfast together. after breakfast the boys played ball and the girls sat and chatted. worship & a short teaching came next, i will probably never get tired of listening to the Hondurans worhsip. late morning, before lunch, was the scavenger hunt. it was the event i was both most excited abuot and most nervous about.
i had put so much planning into this game: what they had to find, how many points each thing would be. they had to find verses in the bible to correspond with each thing on the list. (for example, the had to find a yellow fruit, but they also had to find a verse about fruit, like fruit of the spirit or Eve’s apple etc.) The goal was to get them out in the community. I was delighted to see groups running around to eachothers homes, asking their grandparents for a gray hair, one of the things on the list, and sitting in the middle of the street looking up bible verses. little kids and neighbors watched curiously as these young people dug through the bible. it was an amazing sight.
lunch rolled in and suddenly i was put in a pickle. some people thought that one group cheated. they hadn’t broken any rules, because i didnt specifically specify that they couldnt “do” the thing they did. but, it broke the point of the game, which was team unity. i was put in a pickle because, as the leader of the day and leader of the game, i had two different sides to look at. two different groups who both were in the right, but the final call would be made by me, and i was getting all the rep for not having specified the rules clearly enough. i knew that i would disappoint somebody, and i also felt like it was my fault this misunderstanding even happened. i mean, it was just a game, but it felt like such a big deal, to know that somebody would be let down on my account.
as i sat and thought about it, one of the students, Eric, came and sat by me. he asked what i was thinking about and i told him that i just didnt know what to do, and that i felt like it was my fault. that i didnt want to disappoint anyone by having not planned the day well enough. Tears swelled in my eyes and they became glassy.
“Look,” Eric said, “i see you like my sister, so i feel i can tell you this. It’s a game, Megan. Sure, the boys will be disappointed if you don’t let us win, and somebody else will be disappointed if you do let them win, but we are all going to be alright. The question is, will you be alright? Because you may have planned this day, but as long as you keep seeing it as YOUR day, it will never be a good day. You could have planned everything perfectly, but if you still saw it as your day, it will not be good. This isnt your day, it isnt the boys day, it isnt the ministries day, it’s God’s day. So you need to give it to Him.”
& i sometimes wonder why I’m the one discipling these kids.
So i did, i gave it over to God, 100%.
And the day changed. the mood changed. the holy spirit started flowing through the group. this group (other than the worship team) normally does not dance and sing during worship, but when we did afternoon worhsip EVERYONE was dancing. small group discusssions were amazing and God was there. the small groups united to think of a creative way to present the memory verse. everyone began to feel more comfrotable and God was finally free to do his work. His spirit was no longer hindered by my pride or anyone else’s because HE was finally able to just do His thing.
The day ended in prayer. I asked everyone to circle up and hold hands, all the staff, all the students, everyone. And we prayed out all together. Sixty voices lifted high calling apon God to make us a community, to make us the light in Yamaranguila.
Yesterday was God’s day. And big changes were made, both in our hearts and in the hearts of the students. Lord, may we continue to give everyday to you and bless you with each day you grant us.